Gonna be Amish

My husband and I have often talked of adding on to the house.  We reside in a small 3 bedroom one bathroom no basement house.  When talking about this potential "add on" we decided that if we ever were to knock out one wall, our house would explode with "stuff" all over the neighborhood.

 When we bought the house  10 years ago it seemed like a great idea.  We had two whole extra rooms to do anything with.  We were going to make one an office and one an exercise room.

We slowly started to accumulate "stuff." We not only had the usual "junk drawers" in our house we had two whole "junk rooms".   If it didn't have a place we would  put it in the" junk  room" and we would deal with it later.  We had everything from scrap pieces of paper  to an old glass shower door.  There was a ceiling fan, old computers, mattresses, a treadmill and an old mirror and anything in between. 

We started to have kids and realized the "junk rooms" had to go.  We had to part with things to make room for these precious gifts that we were going to bring home.  Eventually the rooms got cleaned out.  Then as we added kids, the house filled up again with such things as doll shoes, play combs and curlers, stuffed animals, at least 67 coloring books and 13,458 broken crayons, roller skates, water guns, puzzles, and just about any toy that Walmart had to offer. 

Then the decision to home school was made so we started to collect educational toys such as,  microscopes, flash cards, play clocks, 7,894 books, scissors, glue and all kinds of scrap paper, stickers , glitter (which should be outlawed), globes, maps, and blocks. 

What do you do when you have so much stuff?  Well I will tell you.  You go to the bank and get a loan to buy a shed.  Then you take all of your stuff and put it in the shed.  You let it sit in that shed, that should have cost you $2,000, but by the time you paid interest, it cost you close to $10,000.  Until one day you decide to sell it at a yard sale for nickles and dimes and then before you know it your $10,000 shed is empty and paid for and all  you have to show for it is a truck full of "stuff " you are going to take to the goodwill and thirty dollars in your pocket from what you sold.  

The bible warns us about storing treasures for ourselves here on earth. 


 "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there you heart will be also."  Matthew 6:19-21

Why did we keep all of that "stuff" for nine years just so one day we could go in debt to store it and then practically give it away later?? 

With the new year approaching I have many new goals for myself. One of those is to become more "Amish"  Now I am not out bonnet shopping and I have no intentions of getting a really cool black hat for my husband and asking him to grow a beard to indicate that he is "taken".    By "Amish" I mean that I am getting rid of some clutter around here.    I am done storing up things.  I am too busy of a mom to be "finding the other doll shoe" or "locating the 56 train track "so that this can be a complete set.  I am done dusting, plastic plants. And I am through vacuuming around decorative furniture that no one can sit on.  I am even done keeping broken crayons so that one day I can prove something to someone as I melt them all into little heart shaped crayons for valentines day.  That's right I am proclaiming that I am too busy to be a "pinterest mom"

What purpose does all of this serve but to take my focus off of what really matters.  My objectives as a mother is to teach the kids peace in a world full of chaos.  Teach them to work together in a world full of enemies.  To be responsible, loving caring and giving adults in a world full of selfishness.  I want them all to have servants hearts in a world full of "every man for himself".  And above all I want them to love God and follow Him and His purpose for them.  I want them to know what a marriage is all about by watching me and my husband work together, not from a t.v show full of scripts.  I want to be an example of a godly woman so that when my son goes out to find his future wife he knows what morals and values to look for in a wife.  I want my husband to be an example of a godly man so that my daughters know what a real man is when they go to find their future husband.

There is no peace with clutter, but there is peace with God.  This year I am letting go of my "earthly treasures"  and searching for that peace.    I am becoming more Amish.  I am going to teach my kids that "stuff" doesn't matter.  We cannot take it with us.  I am going to tell them, through my actions, that it's not  the stuff we have that makes people remember us, but the kindness, and love that we left in the hearts of those who were put in our paths....

To cry or not to cry

"Jesus wept"  The shortest verse in the bible that holds, to me, the biggest message.  My family has had a rough week.  A week that tried my faith, and trust.  A week where I was put through the test.  A week where I had to repeat from Mark 9:23 "Everything is possible for him who believes"


I noticed my bible studies were leading me to scriptures about "not worrying" and "no fear."  I was also lead to read about Daniel in the lions den and Shadrach, Meshach and Abendnego.  These men believed in God so much that they refused to disobey Him no matter what the cost.  When you are faced with a den full of hungry lions, you pretty much know how that is going to end.  Same as if you were thrown in a fiery furnace.  These men were basically told they couldn't worship or pray to their God anymore.  They must pray and worship the king.  Two different stories, same Divine outcome. God shut the mouths of the lions, and Shadrach, Meshach and Abendnego plus One were seen walking in the furnace.  In both stories, the outcome was the same.  Everyone was ordered to worship and pray to their God.  I wondered had that been me, would I be strong enough in my faith to say "what ever the outcome, I am going to praise and worship my God"

We about lost my dad this week. I live quite a distance from my parents and I have three kids one of which was sick, and so for me to drop what I was doing and head up there was out of the question.  So I stood by, helplessly and "just prayed"  My prayer was "don't take him yet, please don't take him yet" 

I didn't know how I was going to make it through this.  I was then drawn back to my "don't worry, don't fear" bible readings.  I realized that God gives me enough strength to make it though today. Matthew 6:34 says "therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own"  I realized God was saying, "trust me to get you through today, keep your mind and eyes on me and I will get you through today"  At first it seemed minute by minute then I slowly realized my prayer had to change.  I had to pray with faith.  I had to pray as if I had already received it. (Matthew 21:22)

So my prayer changed from "don't take him yet" to, "I give this to You, I trust You, and no matter what the outcome is I am going to Praise YOU and worship my God. I come before you expecting You to amaze me"  Then I began to cry.  Then I began to beg for forgiveness, I mean God must see my tears as a sign of weakness, and lack of faith.  I just gave this to Him and now I am crying as if I don't believe He can turn this thing around.  A very small voice said, "Take your time....even Jesus wept"

God amazed us all the next day when dad was taken off all machines and sent out of ICU and soon he will come home. God gave him another chance, and for that we are truly grateful. 

"Jesus wept"  The Son of God cried.  He cried at the grave of Lazarus not because He was weak. Not because he didn't have hope.  Not because he didn't believe, but because "...he loved him"

Looking beyond the outward appearance

I would like to introduce you to my mystery babies. The babies that look healthy on the outside but something isn't quite right on the inside. The babies that have some doctors either scratching their heads or sending us on our way saying, "they are fine"  The babies that have pulled us straight into the war of judgment as some believe that we are making a mountain out of a mole hill.  The babies that smile and play and deal with their symptoms like champs.  The babies who God has used to teach me so much about myself.  The babies God gave to us and said "I chose you."

  Since I blogged about this last we have made some changes.  Once we got both girls on the meds and noticed a huge change in their behavior and health, and watching all symptoms subside, we noticed Jaden was also having symptoms.  He would wake up in the morning and just lay there.  When we took his blood sugar, out of curiosity, we found that he was in the 50-60 range.  The morning he passed out on me I decided to start to be his voice.

Since then, we were sent to Cincinnati Children's Hospital with  all three kids.  All three were seen and Jaden was tested for Primary Carnitine Deficiency.  When the test came back negative the doctor decided he only wanted to follow up with the girls and not so much Jaden.  My heart broke, as I felt he was the one they really needed to see, but I went along with it.

 Psalm 27:14 says to "wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."  So much prayer had gone into this I had to believe that the Lord was going to come through, even if I didn't really see HIM in this decision , I had to believe He was there.

We went off for that follow up appointment this week and upon talking to the doctor, Jaden came up in the conversation.  When I told him that he has had three low blood sugar spells since we last saw him in August, the doctor asked if it would be okay if he saw Jaden that day too.  I said, "that would be wonderful"  So back out to registration we went to get Jaden registered.  I talked with the doctor while my husband was taking care of all of that.  He suggested that he felt that primary carnitne deficiency was not the diagnosis here for any of them,  but he feels that it is some sort of Metabolic Disorder. 

All three kids were tested for several metabolic disorders based on how their body is breaking down fat.  Jaden was tested the most as he is the only one without meds in him.  The doctor also decided to go ahead (without the stressful awful test of running him to the hospital when he gets sick) and put Jaden on the carnitine as an experiment and see if we notice a change in him as we  did the girls. 

We don't know what is going on with them, and we know that there is a possibility that we may never know.  The doctor suggested that in the future he may want to take them all off the meds and see what happens.  But as of now he is not going to do that.  He feels it would do them more harm than good and he said he felt their bodies were not strong enough for such an experiment with them being so young.

We should hear back from the doctor in about a week as to what the tests show and what to do next. 

Our kids are a mystery because for the most part they are healthy.  They are growing, and developing.  But every once in a while, they are not okay, they are not normal and in that moment God reminds me that our fight is not over, that even though they appear okay on the outside, they are not okay on the inside, and our fight continues.....

I GET To.....

   

 So why is it that our biggest blessings in life become our heaviest burdens?   They were not intended to be burdens.  More times than not, though, we see them this way.  After reading this blog I encourage you all to find your blessings in your "burdens"

   I have been awakened to the phrase "I Get To".  When  that overwhelming feeling arises in your chest,  and it is just about to blow right out of your mouth, and you are about to scream something at someone, and we both know that it isn't going to end well.....first thing you need to do is stop!!!  And whatever it is you are dealing with at that time,  look at it ,and let the next phrase that comes out of your mouth be,"I GET to....." and don't stop until you can approach the situation with a thankful heart, no matter what it is.

    For example.... You are doing dishes and your kids are in the living room and they begin to fight over a toy for the 573rd time today, and you have had enough!!!!   I mean,  first of all you HAVE to do the dishes because it is very obvious that no one else is going to do them!  After that you HAVE to pay the bills because if you don't you will have no electricity by tomorrow, and then you will HAVE to cook dinner on the grill.....again....and now you HAVE to stop what you are doing to break up this fight!  At this rate you are never going to get done with all that you HAVE to do!!!   So,  you slam down that dish towel and you stomp into the living room and you look those selfish, ungrateful, un-sharing,  never satisfied , spoiled rotten kids in their eyes and you say, with teeth clinched,  "GIVE-ME-THAT-TOY!!!!  You all are the most ungrateful children I have ever laid my eyes on.  There are children in third world countries that only have one toy to share among their twelve brothers and sisters and that  one toy is a stick!!  Look around you!!!  You have a bedroom full of toys, yet you chose to fight over this ONE!!  Well guess what??!!!  NO MORE!! From now on every toy you fight over is going to be mine and I am going to get rid of it and then we will see what you have left to fight over!"

    You walk away feeling horrible and then you try to justify what you did by saying   "well they need to learn.....life isn't going to hand them everything on a silver platter....the world is a rough place and it's time they learn that this behavior will not be accepted...after all the Bible does says 'spare the rod spoil the child'  the last thing this world needs is another 'Honey Boo Boo Child'....."


   Although I do agree with all of  the above, I don't feel that this is what God had in mind when it comes to discipline.   I mean I mess up daily and God doesn't take my house away and say "Now THERE!!! Now you have something to cry about!!!"    The Bible says "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it"  Notice the word "TRAIN" , or teach.....I don't see anything in there that says degrade, yell, scream belittle, and be a bad example, which is what you are doing by acting this way. Now believe me when I say, I am the last person to claim that I have it under control. I struggle with this daily but I am learning to take it one "burden" at a time and am determined to find  the "blessing" in that so called "burden".


    There are a lot of things in life that we "HAVE" to do  OR  do we "GET" to do them?   Let's take that same situation above and rethink somethings to change our hearts.  

   You "GET" to do  the dishes because God gave you two hands that function.  You have running water that flows into a sink to hold it ,and although it isn't the "latest model " sink out there and you aren't working in that "dream kitchen", you are still  so very blessed for the fact that you have dishes enough for everyone to eat off of.  After you are done doing the dishes you GET to pay the bills because we live in a country with the luxury of electricity and running water, and phones that we can take with us anywhere.  Yes ,these are luxuries we have to pay for but I am so very blessed because my husband GETS to have a job and GETS  to go to that job and earn enough money to pay these bills so that I GET to say home with the blessings  (children) that God has entrusted us with.

    Now a fight breaks out....you stop and say "I GET to break up another fight, I GET another opportunity to correct their behavior.  Somewhere there is a mom that would love to have one more fight to break up amongst her kids, but since they were all called Home after that car accident she will never GET to do that again.  Somewhere there is a man in prison, who was neglected as a child, and only wishes now that his mother would have taken the time to correct him and taken the opportunity to direct him down the right path.  If she had, maybe things would have been different for him.  Perhaps his life would have been easier. 
 
  So now God has given you the privilege of another opportunity to correct them before it is too late.  Now your heart is prepared to "attack" this behavior issue the way God intended you to.   No screaming, no yelling, but to calmly with true intentions in your heart "train" them to the right behavior.  To direct them to think through this on their own with questions like....."why are you all fighting over this toy?,  Do you feel that this behavior is good our bad?, How do you think we can solve this problem so that nobody is sad and everybody is happy?"

President John Adams said  "......The Mothers are the earliest and most important Instructors of the youth"  Our "blessings" were not intended to be burdens.  Children are the biggest blessing of all.  Raise them so they know it.  The last thing a child wants to be is a burden on anyones life.  Take the time to train them in the way God intended us to.  The future of America is counting on the mothers to get it right.......

Fighting the winds

Well, here we are.  The night before the "big doctors appointment".  Now, I have three kids who have never stayed in a hotel, and as a family of 5 we have never stayed at a hotel together.  So our kids were so excited , to say the least,  to get there and see just what this "hotel stuff" was all about. 

When  you are cooped up in a small bedroom/bathroom/kitchen/office/living room all combined into a 170 square foot space, well that is when God allows you to realize  some things.  My first realization, "wow, my house is huge and no matter what.... it's CLEAN!!"  My second realization, "um....I paid $68 for this???"  My last realization, " our family was not meant to be this close together"   Needless to say the kids did not sleep and due to the upcoming events of the next day neither did mom or dad.

Now I also learned somethings about myself and our family.  One being, a hotel swimming pool is way cool to a six year old, but to a 32 year old it is "grody to the max" (yes, I just went there).  Two, when you have a "germ-a-phobic" with you on a hotel stay, rest assured your vacation just got ruined, and three our family of five can in fact get up and going and on the road at 7:00 a.m as long as someone else is there to fix our breakfast.

All joking aside, this was a big day for us.  We went to Cincinnati Children's Hospital for a second opinion and a firm diagnosis, and to get our son tested for this disorder the girls have.

The answers we got were, "if, if, and if"   all of the"ifs" were due to the fact that records were not sent like they should have been 2 months ago and the doctor could not look over the tests results from Anna or Ava.

So here is the break down,  "IF" this is primary carnitine deficiency, it is a life long diagnosis.  It does affect the kidneys, liver and muscles, (this including the major muscle, the heart) it also will make you very tired and lethargic.  "IF" this is secondary carnitine deficiency then it is treated the same but we may never know what is causing it and could be harder to treat as problems surface. 

We met with a genetic counselor.  She suggested we get the blood work done to see if they have the specific genetic mutation for this disorder.  This test will cost anywhere from $1500.00 to $4000.00 per child biased on the test that we have to get done....and guess what, that's right our insurance will not cover either test.  We do feel this is a test that they need done, but it is a test that can wait a few years.  This test will be helpful when they have decided to start a family of their own, and need to know if they are carriers of this  specific gene and can pass it on to their children.

So, we are still here turning around in circles.  Not knowing where to go.  It was suggested that we stay with both specialists, due to the distance we have to drive to go to Cincinnati.  That way Cincinnati would see them once a year to do an ECHO on them and then the rest of the time they would visit their local specialist for check-ups and medicine refills and such.  Either way we look at it, it's going to get costly.

I am happy to say, though, that my Jaden was tested today and we should hear back in about a week from them to see what the game plan is.

When the doctor told me that by putting them on the medicine it decreases their risk of kidney, and liver failure, my eyes filled with tears and my heart praised God for pushing me back through doors that had been slammed in my face. There were many doors I had to kick in.  Anna got so sick,  I don't even want to think how sick she would be by now had God not given me the courage to bust through some doors and be the momma he intended me to be for these kids.
 
Today reminded me of a story, out of Matthew 14. 

 "Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray.  When evening came, he was there alone, but the boat was already a considerable distance from the land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it........"

This story goes on to say that Jesus went walking on the lake towards the boat and his disciples thought it was a ghost.  They cried out to him, and Jesus said to "take courage it is I. Don't be afraid"  Peter then said, "if it's really you, then tell me to come to you" and Jesus told him to come, and Peter did, and he kept his eyes on Jesus, but then saw the wind and was afraid and started to sink.

See  I had hoped our 6 year journey would have ended today, with a diagnosis, and a doctor to explain somethings to us......but it did not.  We are still sailing in the middle of an ocean waiting for rescue to pull us in to safety, and not knowing from which direction the rope will be coming from.  We are fighting each "wind" along the way trying not to focus on the "winds that are against us", but rather  focus on Christ, knowing that as soon as we take our eyes off of Him, we are going to sink.

Oh be careful little hands what you do.........

I love Gilda Radner.  She was crazy and funny.  Like most people though, that crazy and funny behavior is what she used to hide her pain.  Gilda had a nanny whom she called "Dibby" who raised her.  Her mother was a legal secretary and her father was a business man.  She struggled with several eating disorders and when she was little her weight was such a distress to her mother, that she took Gilda to the doctor to be put on diet pills when she was just ten years old.   When she was twelve her father (whom she was very close to) developed a brain tumor and died two years later.

 Later in life when Gilda had fought the battle of ovarian cancer and won, only later to find out that it had once again returned ,Gilda, went in for a routine CAT scan, and was sedated and never woke up.  She died May 20, 1989.

This is  a little story that I found that Gilda told about her nanny (Dibby).......


"When I was little, my nurse Dibby's cousin had a dog, just a mutt, and the dog was pregnant.  I don't know how long dogs are pregnant, but she was due to have her puppies in about a week. She was out in the yard one day and got  in the way of the lawnmower and her two hind legs got cut off.  They rushed her to the vet and he said, 'I can sew her up, or you can put her to sleep if you want, but the puppies are okay.  She'll be able to deliver the puppies.'

    Dibby's cousin said, 'Keep her alive'

      So the vet sewed up her backside, and over the next week the dog learned to walk.  She didn't spend any time worring, she jut learned to walk by taking two steps in the front and flipping up her backside and then taking two steps and flipping up her backside again.  She gave birth to six little puppies, all in perfect health.  She nursed them and then weaned them.  And when they learned to walk, they all walked like her"



Our kids are watching us.  They are watching every move we make. They want to be just like us.....JUST LIKE US.......I don't know about you, but I don't want my kids to be just like me....I want them to be better.

    If you tell them to love but never show them how,  they will search to gain love from anybody.  If you tell them not to hit and you hit them, they will struggle to find their worth.  If you tell them to pay attention to you but you don't clear you schedule to pay attention to them, they will feel unimportant.  If you raise them to be who you wanted them to be and then tell them  later you are proud of who they have become, they will struggle to figure out who they were suppose to be in the first place.  If you beg them to talk to you, but you didn't take the time to get to know them, or  to be apart of their life when the problems were small,  they are not going to come to you when the problems are big.  If you tell them they are the most important people in your life but you cannot put your  phones down long enough to show them, they are not going to believe you.   If they want to play but you can't get off of facebook long enough to show them that you truly love spending time with them, they are going to feel like a burden in your day, or a thorn in your side.   Then the time will come when they are  grown and gone.  They will then become parents and raise their children by the only example they saw......you. 

We can make the choice now.   We can break free from the chains that are binding us and keeping us from being the parent  God intended us  to be, so that our kids struggles in parenting will be few.  Or we can keep doing what we're doing and then we will have raised another generation of struggling parents that are raising children who will do anything to gain attention from anybody.

 Being a parent is more than just a couple of hugs and kisses at the end of the day, or the peace that comes with nap time, or the sigh of relief at the end of the day when they are all sleeping in their beds. or the five seconds of silence as they eat their lunch. It is more than teaching them who their "athority" is and demanding their respect........They are a blessing in every way,  a blessing that God expects us to put our blood sweat and tears into......because we are His children and that's what He did for us.........

a journey with three

Here we go again.  Three for three.  Jaden, our middle child, started having some low blood sugars in the morning.  A few of them have left him on the floor.  With a more recent one, he passed out on me.

Now, I guess a doctor , or anyone who has been observant enough, would ask the question, Why now??  He is four years old.  Why is this just now coming  on?  The girls started their spells at age one.  

I guess my answer would be, different people react different ways to low blood sugar.  Jaden doesn't complain about anything.  He has had several ear aches that were a surprise at a well doctor visits. 

When we found out what Anna had, Jaden was two years old, and I was pregnant with Ava.  I begged doctors to test Jaden.  They saw no need in it.  So I thought we'd just wait it out to see.  After all, to our knowledge he wasn't showing any signs (which at the time , we thought , was just vomiting)

When Ava started showing her symptoms I knew there was a good chance this was something they were inheriting....I mean you can't tell me that two out of my three just randomly have this ...right???

Well that is what the doctors were telling me after Ava was diagnosed.  Still they were refusing to test Jaden.  It only took once for that child to pass out on me before I started fighting for him.

His last "well visit" at the doctors showed that he is anemic, and he has protein  in his urine.  It also showed his hemoglobin was low.  This told me that he was having more low blood sugar spells than I was aware of.  So I started to monitor his sugar in the mornings and found that his sugar for the most part would be in the mid 50's to 60's. 

Despite what you may believe by looking at this picture, he is not a happy kid most of the time.  He is very irritable every morning, and his energy level is very low.  When I told the doctor all of this she said, "my guess is that he just doesn't feel good"

 My heart broke.  I had spent so much time running the girls from doctor to doctor, getting blood work after blood work.  From this procedure to the next.....I totally neglected seeing all of his signs that he had and now he may just have the same thing as the girls. 

So I discussed all of this with the specialist and it turns out that she still isn't willing to test him.  Well, I decided right then and there that it was Jadens turn.  It was time for me to fight his fight.  I didn't much care what she wasn't willing to do.  I needed to find someone who was.

So through a series of doctor appointments and much discussion and many nights of prayer we have had all three kids referred to Cincinnati Children's Hospital for a second opinion.  It is there that they will decided how and what to test Jaden for.  They will then hopefully give me some more information on what the girls are dealing with.

There are just not a lot of doctors around that can help us with this.  I dont' know if this is where we are suppose to be.  I don't know what their future holds.  I don't know what this means for them, or for their future family's......But what I do know is that they deserve an answer to all of these questions and as their mom I intend to get that for them.

So here we go, on what seems to be a never ending journey,  but my God is standing at the end of it and I know if we keep our eyes on Him....we will see the light at the end of the tunnel soon enough.

Your prayers are greatly appriciated for our journey.

I think I'll move to Australia......

Today Jaden brought this book to me to read to him.  Now Jaden wasn't always a fan of being read to,  but in time, has grown to love it.  So whenever he brings me a book to read, I usually stop what I am doing to read it to him. Because I remember all to well the struggle it took to get him to even care about a book.

Today his choice couldn't have been more perfect.  Around here, I was having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

It was just one of those days when nothing goes right and you find yourself "chasing your tail", and throwing yourself the occasional "pitty party" and by the end of the day, you have gotten nothing accomplished.

  A "good day" in my book is when I am able to get up by 6 am and have a shower and my breakfast and sit in silence for about two hours before everyone else wakes up.  When the kids wake up I like to have their breakfast already made and waiting for them on the table.   I like it when my husband is out the door by at least 10 am so that we can get our day started.  I like the laundry caught up, I like toys picked up. And "barefoot floors" make me happy. You know the kind that have no dirt or sticky patches on them and they feel oh so clean on your bare feet.  I like furniture dusted and everything in it's place.  When all of this happens all at once, not only is it a blue moon ,but it is also where I find my "happy place."  You know that place that if your kid spilled her kool aid on the kitchen floor, you'd look at her, like the lady in the commercials, and grab a paper towel and say, "that's okay", with a great big smile,  all while wearing your best pearls to clean up the "little messes" around the house.  I don't know where these people who write the commercials live , but in my house there is no such thing as a "little mess"  With the messes that we have around here ,there is no paper towel in the world absorbent enough to clean it with. And the phrase "that's okay" usually is not the first thing that comes out of my mouth...the first thing that usually comes out of my mouth is "i don't really know why I bother to even clean this house"

Today was the day that all of the above did NOT even come close to happening. We had our home school group today and we all woke up late. So I started throwing cereal bars at the kids saying, "hurry up and eat we have to get ready and get out of here"  My husband decided to lock himself in the only bathroom we have at around 11 a.m.   Now we were all waiting on him to get ready for work so we could have our turn in the bathroom.   I get all of the kids ready only to look out to find that Jaden has spilled his apple juice and was now stirring it on the table with some of his toys.  Ava had to have three diaper changes and two wardrobe changes before we got out the door.  Laundry is piled up in the hallway.  Supper dishes from the night before were still waiting for me, because my logic the night before was, "I will wake up early and clean up the house before we go to home school group"  I threw together a lunch and loaded the kids in the car where Ava then proceeds to spill her water all over the car, and might I add she is laughing the whole time.  We get done with our home school group and head home to grab a quick supper and head to church.  We get home from church and the kids act like they haven't eaten in years so I start throwing snacks at them and turn my back for one minute and before I knew it, a crayon war had broken out in the living room.  I am not sure who won but at this point I could care less.   I  then decided to play  Amazing Grace on the piano for my husband,  I had been working on putting my own little "twist" to it.  When I was done and well pleased with the way it sounded he says ,"that was pretty....what song was that?"   Well that just sent me over the edge, so I say "nevermind,"  I go to the bedrooms and see that every piece of clothing they own is on the floor and the dog was laying on it..I start throwing more laundry in the hallway and finally put the kids to bed. 

Tonight, I have crayons all over the floor, toys stuck to apple juice on the table, laundry piled up in the hallway, books torn off the bookshelf, fruit loops on the floor, a bag of half eaten donuts tipped over on the counter and dishes everywhere, and apparently I must rethink my version of Amazing Grace.......I think I'll move to Australia.........

rules are made to .....be confusing

Not until I began to teach my oldest how to read, did I realize how confusing the English language was.  She was having a hard time , at first, with it and who could blame her. 

We start out by saying a,e,i,o,u are our vowels.  Then we learned a little song about the vowels.  Simple enough.  Then she learns that vowels can say two different things, they can be long or short.  Long vowels say their name, short vowels......well....don't.  So we start with short vowel sound and begin our three letter word families.  There is the "at" family, and the "et" family  the "ot " family the "it" family and the "ut" family. 

Okay, so we are doing good.  So then we start adding rules.  When we have an "e" on the end of the word it turns that vowel to a long vowel sound.  That vowel now says its name.  So then we learn words like "brave" and "lake" and "like" and "make".  She is a little confused at this point but still hanging in there.

So now we add another rule.  "When there are two vowels together the first vowel says it's name and the second one says nothing"  Next she asked the question  "well then why is it there?"  I said, "it is a helper............a silent helper"  She said, "well if it doesn't say anything then it doesn't need to be in there.   So why is it there?"................."it just is okay! It's a rule.  Rules are made for us to follow"  Now, we move on from that to the words  "neat" "sail" "meat" and "goat"

Then we move on to words such as "say" and "snow" and I have to explain to her that in our "vowel song" although it wasn't mentioned that sometimes "y" and "w" are vowels.....and so in the word "say" the "a" is long and the "y" says nothing.  You could tell by the look on her face that she wanted to ask once again, "then why is it there" but she did not.

We move on to the next rule, "vowels by themselves say their name"  and then we learned the words "go" and "so" and "he" and "she"

Then I write this  sentence on the board   "We have to go get the goat."    She, with much confidence and remembering all of her "rules"  reads it  "We have (with a long "a") toe go get the goat"  when I tried to explain to her that "to" is not read as "toe" and she said, it's a vowel by itself so it says its name"  and  then I said well not in this case, and that "have" doesn't have the long "a" sound and she said, "well it ends with an "e"  which makes the "a" say it's name.  I said , " that is true, but not with this word" 

After that we tried it again with the next sentence "I have read a book to my pet."   She is ready to go now,  she saw the "to" and remembered what I said, and starts to read.  "I have (with the short "a"sound ) read (with a long "e") a book to my pet"  She is so proud of herself at this point until I tell her that with this sentence the "e" in read is short not long.  "but mom it has two vowels together the first one says it's name and the second one is silent"  to which i reply "well the word 'read' can be read in two different ways" 

This went on for quite sometime and she was bringing up some very good points.   So at this point we just agreed that "to" says "to" and not "toe"  and "have" has a short "a" sound and "read" can say two different things and the rule for that is "It just does and that's the way it is so...learn it"

She isn't going to make it through    " 'i' before 'e' except after 'c' " and  that  "to", "two" and "too" sound the same but mean three different things. And the ever important yet hardly used (which drives me nuts) is the difference between "there" , "they're" and "their".  And just wait until the day that  she learns that spell check cannot correct this sentence  " I wood love two give sum hugs too my mom" 

Maybe we should have started with pig latin........

Ava makes two.......

Well, today was Ava's big doctor appointment, and we still have several labs out and some that did not get done due to us having to help Ava come out of it.  Several labs have come back though, and our intuition was right.  Ava and Anna's labs were almost identical.  I am not sure about numbers matching but Ava has low carnitine, and also several amino acids that are low as well, indicating a mitochondrial disorder.  Now the results that she has back are going to be taken for another doctor to look at to decide what the next step is.

I am thinking it is just a matter of time before I curl up in a corner and cry.  I'm not sure that would solve anything though.  But sometimes it just feels good.

I have given this to God.  I see this as a mess  and He is seeing the bigger picture so I have to sit back and just let Him have it.


 I look into their eyes and although I feel like I am carrying this on my shoulders......  I also know this is something they are living with.  True they don't know everything I do about their condition and they don't know the risks involved with certain things but it is still something they have to live with.  It is something they deal with.  It is something that is affecting them personally........and just look at those smiles would ya, so if they can smile so can I  :)

Sometimes the journey we are called to walk seems too long, and sometimes the mountains we are called to climb seems so wrong.............. but we have no choice but to keep walking...........

Thanking God in our nightmare

This was the scene earlier today.  Ava had that episode we had been waiting for.  She was trying to trick us at first as she woke up with sugar at 71, which isn't low enough to take her in, or even send her into what we call "an episode".  After refusing her breakfast 5 minutes later I took her sugar again and it had dropped to 63.  This was it. We had to go.  The problem here is that my sons blood sugar was also low and we were trying to get it up as well.  We got him stabilized and off we went. 

Our prayer was that this was all going to go smoothly but how my faith was tried as I realized how fast her sugar was falling.  I was shaking and God had placed on my heart a "defence"  I guess He knew I was going to need it...... again.

Three weeks ago we had the blood orders in our hands.  We went to the hospital and pre registered her.  I  had even gone to the lab and showed them the orders and told them that when I came in with this baby it would be an emergency and I would not have time to wait.  They were very understanding and passed the word to everyone in the lab.  Oh how much they ALL forgot in three weeks. 

The game plan was, my husband was going to take care of getting that stupid bracelet while I rushed Ava to the lab. 

In our hospital there is always an elderly woman to point you in the right direction and I didn't have time to catch the look on her face as I blew past her and admissions with that baby in my hands.  I went to the lab and rang their little door bell.  What happened next was UNBELIEVABLE!!!  The same woman that I had confronted and caused a scene with when I brought Anna in for her testing.  That same woman who told the others in the lab "when she comes in with a sick baby she is not to wait"  This same woman said...."have a seat we will be with you in a moment"  Oh my, the gate was opened and the "momma bear had been released"  I said "I will not wait I have discussed this with you and I need labs run on her now!!"  She then told me to "calm down I will get someone"  Out came the next UNBELIEVABLE.  This lab tech said "why are you so uneasy? you seem uneasy"  (like I had time for a therapy session in the hallway!!)  I said "her blood sugar is at 60 and dropping can we just get her blood drawn please"  She (in no hurry) walked us to the E.R  and what happened next was the most UNBELIEVABLE  of all, as she looked at some nurses in the E.R and said, "I think you all need to find someone to calm her down."  Oh I know she didn't just go there.  There were many things going through my head right now, like  my child could die here if her blood sugar gets too low, or you have no idea what we are going through right now.....or  should I just say HOW DARE YOU!!!   what I settled with was "I don't have time to explain to you right now why I am so upset, just get your little kit and get these labs done" 

They struggled to find a vein.  I tried to remain calm but God had placed a feeling in my heart  of caution.  I watched her and cried with her.  I got down on my knees next to the bed and prayed for her.  As a mother in that situation it is hard to find the words.  But I prayed if our answer is in that blood than to please please guide their hands to that  vain.  I looked up and blood was poring in the tubes.  They had found the vein.

What happened next was heartbreaking as my oldest daughter came in, Anna, who knows first hand how Ava feels.  She sat on the bed next to Ava and rubbed her head and held her hand and didn't say a word.  Ava was in a stare at this point, and just looked at Anna.  My Jaden put himself into a corner and cried.  He didn't know how else to deal with this.  I soon got him to come over and talk to Ava as he rubbed her head and said "you okay"

After monitoring her sugar levels we saw they were getting too low for comfort but later realized, after talking to the doctor, that they were lower than our meter was showing.  We decided enough was enough we brought her out of it.  We didn't get the urine we needed but hope to get that with her next episode. 


Later that same woman who tried to find someone to "restrain me" came in and humbled herself and asked forgiveness for the way she had acted.  I later found out why.  Ava's blood sugar had sank to 47 while they were doing the tests.   I had no idea.  But at that point she did.  She knew how critical this had gotten.  All was forgiven.

I came home and cried and wanted to ask "why?"  Why us?   Why them?    But I didn't.  I am not suppose to ask "why"  So then I started to thank God.  Thank you for getting us through.  Thank you for giving me the fight I needed.  Thank you for watching over this poor baby when she got more sick then we knew.  Thank You for being there and thank You for what you are going to do with this mess we are in and how it will all glorify You someday........Thank You...............

Facing your Giant..

Last weekend my husband and I watched a movie called "Facing the Giants."  A movie about a family that ,with every move they made and everywhere they turned, they were faced with another "giant."  I could very much relate to this movie, as I am sure we all could.  To watch how they just kind of stopped in the middle of their "battle" and put everything back into perspective.  Then put their priorities in the right order.  Once they put God first in everything they did, they began to conquer their battles and their "giants" began to fall down, one by one. 

These are the moments when the blessings are so much greater and the outcome is more awesome then we could have ever imagined, that we would go through it again to get the same results.

Every giant we face is put in front of us to shape us.  To build character and to even make us more humble. 

I would have never dreamed 7 years ago when we were talking about starting our family that we would have three children who would be facing a rare genetic disorder and that we would be buried in books and documents up to our eyeballs trying to figure out what would be our next move.  Where do we go from here?  I look back on our last 6 years of testing with Anna, taking her to every doctor we could and in some cases even being laughed at, as if we were making all of this up.  I didn't pray.  I guess I didn't think to pray.  I guess for some reason I thought that I was going to do this on my own.  Or maybe so many people told me that praying for your self was "selfish"  "find someone else to pray for and God will take care of you", is what I was told.  I had people tell me that there were so many other people who were worse off then me.  I was made to feel guilty for praying for myself.

Not only was I faced with a "Medical Giant"  I came face to face with a "mental giant" as well.  I had to quit listening to others and go back to what I believed my God was.  I believe my God handed me "giant" that He did not intend for me to fight on my own.    I believe that He placed a Giant before me to show me how small I am and just how big He is.  What I have been handed in my life has nothing to do with me but everything to do with bringing glory to Him.  I cannot face this "giant" on my own and I was not expected to.  If I did then I would only be trying to bring glory to me. 

When David fought his giant ,Goliath, he said, "You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty"  God is bigger than any "giant" put before us.  He is bigger than your marriage that is falling apart. He is bigger than your negative checkbook balance and cupboards that are bare. He is bigger than your empty gas tank with only a dollar to fill up.  He is bigger than cancer.  He is bigger than any illness that you are facing. He is bigger than your foreclosed house. He is bigger than your uncontrollable temper. He is bigger than your negative thoughts. He is bigger than your depression. He is bigger than the hurtful words spoken behind your back. He is bigger than the laughter that brought on tears.  He is bigger than all of your fears. He is bigger than that job that you just lost.

 Maybe it is time that we look our "giant" whatever it may be, in the eye and say "you come at me with a spear and a sword but I come to you in the name of the Lord"........we were not called to face these "giants"alone..........

A date to remember

Well, there we are.  That is me and my husband Jim Bob, back when he had hair, and I had a waist.  I guess you noticed the trophy I am holding so let me just get that out of the way right now.  That is a trophy that we  had won at a dance contest.  More specifically a "Twist Contest"   Now before you have us labeled as Robert Goulet and Cissy King, I must tell you,  that this trophy was won fair and square.  Just because we were the youngest couple on the dance floor and we where the only ones not concerned about breaking a hip that night, does not mean we cheated.  What a night that was.

We use to do all kinds of things.   We would go out to eat,  go dancing, one time we went  through McDonald's  drive through to order apple pies.  When we got up to the window I leaned forward and said, "I would like mustard with mine and he will take some barbecue sauce."  That is the first time I let my wit shine in front of him and it totally caught him off guard.  But bless that woman's heart ,she gave us lots of mustard and barbecue sauce that night.  We did lots of things but one of his favorite places to be was the drag strip.  He loves to drag race...and I......well I was good at packing up the trailer when he lost and then we went home.  He would always get so mad at me because we would get there  and unpack everything and he would get in the staging lanes and then I would start putting stuff up.  Something about how I was not very supportive....or something.....but he married me anyway.

My husband and I met on a blind date.  I had just moved to Kentucky with my parents and started some college classes.  I had the option of taking music or art.  I chose art.  Behind me sat Jim Bob's cousin. One day she said, " I have a cousin who is perfect for you!"  I am thinking,  finally someone who is perfect for me.   So I asked her, "what's his name?"   She said, "Jim Bob."  I said, "really???"  I then agreed to let him call me.  I turned him down for the first date but he kept calling me.  I guess apart of my northern heart had trouble envisioning what someone named "Jim Bob" would actually look like.  I just new I was about to go on a date with a 9 foot tall man driving a truck that I would need a step ladder to get into, and that he would be  wearing bibbed overalls, and missing half of his teeth.  So when the time came I agreed to meet him, I was very scared to say the least.  I just knew this was going to be the worst night of my life.  But it wasn't.  He was the opposite of everything I expected him to be and in this case, that was a good thing. 

After three years of dating.  My parents told me they would be moving back to Illinois.  So I then looked at Jim Bob and said.  "You had  better ask me to marry you or I am going back to Illinois with them"  We were engaged September 21, 2002 and married June 21, 2003.

After 2 years of marriage we started our family, and that is when my waist line left,  never to return again.  When our oldest learned to talk that is when Jim Bob's hair started to fall out.  When we added number two and three that's when my hair started to turn that shade of "wisdom" that we all try to hide.

We had forgotten about us.  I  had devoted my time to the kids and he had devoted his time to providing for us.   And in the midst of it all we had forgotten about the foundation on which the family started.  And like any foundation that isn't taken care of we had noticed it starting to crumble.  Counting it up we figured out  it had been 4 years since our last date.  So we packed up the kids and sent them to "Nannies and Pa Pa's" house and off we went.

                                                                       

My how the times have changed huh???  Well it had been so long since our last date that we couldn't remember what to do on one.  I have so many food allergies so eating out isn't an option. He doesn't stay awake without a cup of coffee in his hands so we couldn't go dancing.   So we went to the movies. The movies is a good place to realize how old you have gotten and how old your about to get.  There were younger kids climbing over the seats.  I guess I appeared , to them,  to be someone who was not going to move to let them in.  And out of nowhere,  it came out of my mouth  "what is wrong with kids today??"  About that time and older couple comes in and the man says to his wife with quite a tone to his voice "well I am not sitting up front!! I cannot stand to sit up there, because it just gives me a headache!  So we are going to have to sit back here somewhere"  his wife just rolled her eyes.

I won't be long and the day will come when  we are sitting in a dark living room waiting for the timers to turn on the lamps so we can read the obituaries, in the paper, and plan our next date....

keep walking

It has been a week around here.  This week I met with my new doctor to take some time to care for myself.  Sometimes as mommies we forget that we need to keep our own health up.  We spend so much time worrying over our children we don't take the time to worry about ourselves.  But our kids need us.  And they need us to be in the best health that we can be in for them.  So as much as we hate it, we have to add a trip to our doctor in our schedule somewhere.

Well I have had several doctor appointments here recently that were just "routine" but turned out with the "unexpected" problems that doctors seem to find.  When they find them it seems to slap you across the face and you wonder "how did I miss those symptoms??"  That is where I have found myself lately.  On the floor wondering where did that diagnosis came from and why didn't I see that coming.

Then today we add our son to the rest of the kids who is showing signs of Primary Carnitine Deficiency.  This has really been hard for me to handle.  It doesn't seem fair sometimes.  And when you have found that most of your family falls into the category of 1 in 100,000.....well it can be a pretty lonely place to be.  Who do I turn to when no one understands?  Who do I run to when I need encouragement? Who do I see when I need advice when a new "symptom" pops up?

Throughout all of this, between my doctor appointments and the kids struggles, I hear God saying...."keep walking"  So I put one foot in front of another, and then I get results back on a test, and God says "keep walking"  so I take one more step.  Then one more child falls into a ratio...and God says "keep walking" I take one more step then I run into the wall of anxieties and God says "keep walking"  and then  I stop to cry  and God says, "keep walking"

See Jesus was mocked, laughed at, and made fun of....and God told Him to keep walking.  He was betrayed, judged and denied....and God said "keep walking"  He was hit, beat and handed his own cross....and still God said "keep walking"  Joshua went to fight the battle of Jerico, and was told to walk around the walls of Jerico seven times for seven days before his battle was won.  Moses wondered in the dessert and on year 39 God said "keep walking"

When our load gets too much to bare, and we don't think that anything that is handed to us is what we deserve, and the road gets too bumpy, and it doesn't make sense and it feels like we are walking in circles.....  sometimes the hardest thing to hear is "keep walking"  Today I wanted to throw my hands up and say "God I didn't sign up for this!!!!   I cannot carry this burden!!"  He then reminded me that I don't have to.  All I am called to do is hand it to Him and trust Him...I may be going thourgh a drought now but just like Elijah my "rain " is comming so for now I..........keep walking...........

One Step At a Time

I would like to introduce you to Ava.  Ava is my third born.  Ava stole my heart from the moment she was born.  I think it was because, out of  our three children, she is the only one that looks just like her momma.

When we (now I say "we" here,  but we all know that I mean "I") were pregnant with Ava, we were given the news about Anna, our oldest, having a mitochondrial disorder.  The Dr. told us, "now you are going to read that these can be fatal so I am just going to warn you about that now"  Ummm, now I am guessing this is something you should never tell a hormonal pregnant woman!!

We knew that Anna was strong.  She was growing and developing which is the one thing that kept confusing the doctors.  Our thoughts then turned to Ava.  That sweet little girl in the picture who we now faced the "unknown" with. 

As many of you know Anna has PCD. (if you are not sure what that is check out my blog entitled "carnatine what???")  This being genetic we knew there was a chance, now, that Ava could have it as well.  Now, what's the big deal right???  She comes out she, has the disorder,  you give her the meds all is good.  Well not really.  See ignorance is bliss.  I read.....A LOT!!  If there is something wrong with my babies I am going to read everything under the sun until I have diagnosed them with something.  The kids doctor, bless her heart, told one of the student doctors observing that day that if it hadn't been for my research then Anna would be just another "unknown" and swept under the rug without a diagnosis.

Upon my reading we found out that PCD is commonly misdiagnosed as S.I.D.S.....Oh how I wished I didn't know that when I was 6 months pregnant with my child!!!  The last three months of my pregnancy were spent preparing my heart if , God forbid, something were to happen. 

Well she came three weeks early at 9lbs and 0oz.  Head full of black hair and more beautiful then I could have ever imagined.  I looked at her and all of my worries and anxieties went out the window.  I knew that feeling.  If I had to, I would fight for her just like I had to do for her sister.  I was her mommy.  God chose me for that job.  God chose her for me, and me for her. 

A year later and our Ava has started showing all signs and symptoms of PCD.  She is averaging an episode every other week.  Her sugar is getting very low, and her eyes are starting to look sunk in.  She goes to the doctor next month to start the "testing process" which is not fun for anyone.  Seven tubes of blood and a urine sample have to be collected while she is in one of her low sugar vomiting episodes, to get our answer.  Now keep in mind these happen first thing in the morning, so with Ava's next episode we have to load the car up with me, my husband, and our three kids one, which is vomiting, and one (Anna) who may or may not be in an episode herself, and get to the hospital where they have no knowledge at all about this disorder and convince them that they have 30 minutes to get this  blood drawn before we have all wasted our time.  We have done this before.  We did not leave a good impression.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I know I am blessed.  I am a mommy of three, and somewhere there is a woman who just wants one.  I have two difficult children but we have found a medicine that works for now and that is what I hold on to.   But, this whole process has tested me as a mother, as a friend and as a Christian.  I have been judged on how I am handling this to the point where I just quit talking about it to anyone.    There were times I asked for prayer and was made to feel guilty for asking for prayer, so I just quit asking.  There were people claiming I was a "drama queen" without any understanding at all of what we were going through.  There were tears that I shed behind closed doors out of fear that they would be judged too.

  Now understand too that there were some very dear people who lifted up Anna in prayer and I am truly grateful to those people.  See because when it's your own child you really don't know how to pray except for selfishly  But then I started to pray, I realized  that no matter what, God is there.  Sometimes its just me and Him, but He is always there.  I prayed in the hospitals as they drew blood, "please God let this be our answer"  I prayed in the mornings during the episode "please God let this end"  I prayed with her sugar checks "please God, let her sugar come up"  And most importantly I praised, "Thank you God for getting us through this one, and thank you for our answer"

I don't know what the future holds for Anna and Ava  but one thing remains the same....God is with us every step of the way,   He won't judge my prayers , He will listen.  Every tear I cry, He wipes away.  He helps me put one foot in front of the other and climb this mountain one step at a time  and reminds me to be still........ because I don't have to do this alone......

I bid you good luck......:)

                                                                              
So, here we are again.  I am not sure of how much more I can blog about, before I really start to sound like a health nut over here.  I assure you though, I am NOT a health nut I struggle right along with everyone else, however when one looks in my shopping cart at the grocery store, then they may think otherwise.

I have come to that point where this will be my last and final blog on nutrition. (unless I come across anything so crazy and neat and nutritious that I must tell you about!!)  I will move on to....... well I'm not sure, I guess more mommy things.

I do hope that you take, what little wisdom I shared, with you throughout each meal.  There are no magic words.  There is no counting points.  There is no counting calories.  It isn't about  having a frozen dinner for lunch and then a salad for supper.  It isn't about starving yourself to get into that size 7.  It isn't even about losing weight. (this is an added  bonus to what you are doing)  It is, however, about counting the good, and always making sure it outweighs the bad.  It is about counting the nutrients, and always making sure it is more than the junk.  It is about always drinking enough water in a day to wash out the bad toxins your body is holding on too.   It is very much about portion control.  Your stomach should be as big as your fist, so don't eat a whole cake and expect that to go well.  Put in good and get good out...... good energy, good attitude, good weight, good skin, good hair, good teeth.  Everyday isn't going to be sunshine and rainbows; but let me tell you, I am having  a lot more sunshine than I use to, and that's good enough for me.
 

I crave foods with the rest of you, but it is so much easier now to fight it.  When my body isn't use to getting that sugar, or greasy fatty food,  then it makes it so much easier to say, " no".  Also knowing what all that grease is going to do to you helps me say, "no" as well.

I cannot say it enough, KNOW YOUR FOODS!!  Know what is in them, everything down to the spices.  What is it going to do for you.......... How is it going to help your body function? What part of your body is it going to help function??    What do you need to eat more of in order to solve the way you are feeling??  Is what your eating going to benefit you in some way?  If the answer to this question is  "it isn't" then don't eat it...

There are so many great cookbooks out there.  Do some research and find one that works for you.  Want to get more veggies in your diet but you really don't like the whole idea of eating them??? Well I have a son just like you.  His speech was delayed, and he just wasn't where he should have been for his age.  I was the mother who had no idea what her kid was saying.  I mean really, you have to know how frustrating that is.  As a mother, watching your son get angry because he knows what he is saying why don't you??!!!

  I took notice to what he was eating and there were weeks that went by that he wouldn't touch a single vegetable or fruit on his plate.  I searched out the cookbook called, "Deceptively Delicious."  Each recipe has pureed vegetables or fruit in it.  My son ate them up.  He didn't even know what was in it.  It was about a month into this "experiment" other people started to understand my son.  As a mother that is huge.  He still isn't where he should be but he is making great progress.

These foods where put here for us from the beginning of time.  They are what was intended for us to eat.  If God had intended for us to eat nothing but hot dogs, chicken nuggets, and chilly cheese fries, then I really think that those foods would one, not give us bad things like, heart burn, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and clog our arteries,  and two,  I think that they would have been included in that Garden.   

So please,  eat as "natural" as you can afford,  I know it is costly, but make cuts in other places.   I have three kids with one income and we homeschool.  One, now maybe two, of my kids need medicine and see a specialist on a regular basis.    You don't have to tell me about being broke.   I am, however, very important in my kids eyes, and here lately, I have become very important in my own eyes as well.  I will not neglect my body and buy the best laundry detergent out there because it makes lots of bubbles and my clothes always smell fresh (which might I add, use to be on the top of my list)  Instead I save money by making my own laundry detergent.  It doesn't make a lot of bubbles and it isn't as fresh as Gain, but I have a 5 gallon bucket of laundry detergent that cost me $20.00 to make and will last me for 9 months.

We are all here for a reason, a purpose if you will.  If you neglect your body and it's needs, how will you ever complete that purpose?  Your life is a gift.  A gift that can be taken way at any given moment, due to wrong choices.  There are choices like, getting into your car and going to town at the wrong time.  Or choices like eating a deep fried stick of butter vs. eating a meal packed full of everything your body needs.  Some choices we have no understanding on how it will all end......but others we do......please make the right choice....you won't regret it....

Dinner time!!!!!

Hello again, :)  Did you think that I had forgotten about you??  Well now remember, I am a full time mommy here so I had a busy few days.  I am back to walk you through your mid afternoon snack and dinner time, but not before I tell you the health benefits of shrimp and mushrooms.  So here we go...

Shrimp

* Ladies listen up here.  If you add shrimp to your diet then you can lessen your P.M.S symptoms such as bloating, irritability and depression. 

* If you are determined to loose a few pounds than shrimp is your food.  It is packed full of vitamin D, vitamin  b3 and zinc.  Zinc has been shown to circulate the body's leptin.  Leptin is a hormone that plays a key role in regulating the body's energy, fat storage and appetite.  Insufficient leptin levels are believed to be the primary cause of food cravings, over eating or obsession with food.  I have noticed this in myself.  I don't think about food so much in a day. 

* Iodine in shrimp help the thyroid to function properly.

* That little item that gives shrimp their pink color can protect the skin from premature aging.

* The zinc in shrimp helps the body to produce new cells (hair cells and skin cells) and maintains the oil secretion glands in the scalp making your hair shiny.  It is a good sorce of copper that aids against hair loss, contributes to hair thickness, and intensifies hair color.

* Shrimp is loaded with selenium.  Death rates from cancer are sufficiently lower in areas where selenium is abundant in the soil.  It is believed to decrease tumor growth by boosting the immune system.

* be careful though because shrimp is high in cholesterol, but it is suggested that the cholesterol in shrimp may not be that bad for you.

Now lets move on the the mushroom, shall we.....

* Mushrooms are full of lean proteins and the fiber and certain enzymes in them aid in lowering your cholesterol

*  They are very effective in preventing breast and prostate cancer

*  They are a great food for diabetics, with no fats, no cholesterol,  very low carbs, high proteins, vitamins and minerals, a lot of fiber and water.  They contain natural insulin and enzymes that help break down sugar  or the starch of food. So mushrooms are a must for diabetics...

* They help the liver and the pancreas function normally

* The lean protein in  the mushroom is ideal for loosing fat and building up muscle

* Now comes the best news for those of us who cannot eat dairy.  They are the only vegetable that has  vitamin D and they are rich in calcium, (good for bones) Iron, (good for anemia) Potassium (good for lowering blood pressure) and copper ( an antibacterial)

So did you change your mind about these two foods?  I hope so because they have some great benefits.

Now let me move on to your snack.  I don't know about you but I tend to be very tired around 2:00 in the afternoon to 5:00 in the evening.  So around 2:00 pm I will mix up my protein shake and drink it.  It gives me that extra boost that I need, AND it fills me up and stops those afternoon munchies :)

Dinner time.  Now if you have read my first blog about the weight loss, you will notice that I included a link to a web site to read about your blood type and what foods work best for you and your metabolism.  I am forever in debt to the woman who gave this link to me.  What a blessing it was. 

As I read it, I found that my body and metabolism needs fish and chicken lots of fruits and veggies.  So dinner time is when I enjoy my fish and chicken.   I know it may seem boring to only have fish and chicken in your diet.  I actually couldn't stand fish.  It was something I just didn't have a taste for.  I would have rather had a steak before I ate fish.   That is until I stated reading about all of the health benefits of fish. (which will come in another blog)  I have been at this new way of eating since the last week in October and today I looked in the freezer and was upset because I was out of Salmon.  I, for the first time in my entire life, was craving Salmon.

So I am going to tell you how I make my salmon.  I take one or two tablespoons of butter in a pan and melt it on the stove, (now being lactose intolerant I only use one tablespoon  and it seems to be fine for me, I don't dare try anymore)  Then I just pore in some honey, (I never measure anything but I would say it was about 1/3 cup, if I had to guess)  Then I sprinkle in some dill, (ugh....measurements....probably a teaspoon) and I just cook it long enough so that the butter melts and I can mix it all together.
 I then put my salmon on the good ol' George Foreman grill, and just brush that honey mixture on top of the salmon as it cooks.  When it is done  ( it should fall apart with a fork) put it on top of some brown rice and poor some more of your honey mixture on the salmon and brown rice. (in my picture I had mashed potatoes, (don't judged, they are full of cauliflower puree so even they are packed with nutrients)  complete with steamed veggies, and that is whats for dinner!!!

Again I encourage you, if you haven't gone to that link yet please do.. You could be eating right, but it may not be effective because you are not eating right for you.  All of these foods work for me, but may not work for you.  Know your body. Be in tune with it.  Know what foods make it happy.

We are living in a world full of sickness, illnesses, and diseases.  I wish that I had all of the answers on how to cure all of these things, but I don't.  I do know, that from all of the reading I have done, and the difference in how I fell now compared to 3 months ago, that it does matter what we eat.  It does make a difference in the way your body functions.  Like I have said many times already, when God created man, he gave him a place full of everything he would ever need.  When man sinned they were cast out of that special place, never to return, but to WORK  the land for their food.  Food today comes too easy.  We don't even have to get out of our cars anymore. They are pumping animals full of hormones to make them bigger faster; but it isn't doing great things for your body.    Be picky about what you are putting into body.  Go ahead and ask your husband next time the oil needs changed in the car if you could use "cooking oil" instead and see the look he gives you.  Oil is oil right???   Wrong...

  I am not saying go buy a tiller, some overalls,  and a pitch fork and get to farming.  I am simply saying,  know what is in the food that you eat. Take the time to prepare it yourself.  I mean really, let's think about this for a minute.  We are paying for meals, prepared by people we don't even know.   Most of them are not wearing hair nets or gloves. Who knows what they touched before they picked up your bun, and then they wrap up it in a paper and throw it in a  bag and hand it to you.  I mean if I am going to have someone watch my children, I need a list of references, referrals, a background check, a drug test, a DNA test and dental records.....but we are feeding our kids with food that is prepared by someone, who we don't even know their name, or if they even washed their hands that day.......hmmm

                                                                              

Lunch time!!!!!

Well I hope that after reading yesterdays blog you are encouraged to keep making healthy choices.  So we have lots of fruit for breakfast (fresh not canned)  some oatmeal packed with fiber by adding pumpkin or sweet potatoes.  We had some sunflower seeds, radishes, maybe some almonds or walnuts for a snack.  We now move on to "lunch time"!!!  Yay it is finally here.  What do we eat for lunch and why!!??

Well here is a picture of one of my lunches.  I cannot have bread.  For years lunch to me was a sandwich and chips, or (if I was trying to be healthy) just a salad and water.  So with my new way of eating I have had to think outside of the lunch box.  Lunch to me is just another opportunity to fuel my body with what it needs. 

You will notice I  have some shrimp and some mixed veggies on my plate.  I don't have this everyday for lunch. 

Why just today I had this for lunch.  Brown rice with sauteed mushrooms and green peppers on top.

                                                                                 



Lunch is a great time to start working on getting those vegetables in.  I would like to now take the time to discourage you from buying those frozen dinners.  You know the ones that if you eat them .....then you are going to be thin in no time!!  You will consume more nutrients if you make your meals yourself.   At least by doing this, you know what is in them.  I know that there are a lot of working (outside of the home) ladies/ men out there and you are saying,  "um there is no way that I have time to prepare this for lunch"  Remember what I said before about how being healthy takes time.  You can't eat fast food and expect it be healthy.  You have to put in the time.  So I am about to tell you how easy this is.

First things first, buy some brown rice, and make a big pan of it, and keep it in the fridge.  This stuff packs alot of fiber, and will keep you fuller longer.  Use it in place of your sandwich and processed meats and cheese.  Need something crunchy to eat with your hands for lunch??  Why not add some more nuts or raw veggies.    So you have rice and veggies and you say, "um I need my meat!!!"  I usually buy some chicken breasts and cut them up in little cubes (nuggets if  you will) and season with Olive Oil (because it is excellent for the digestive track) salt and pepper, onion powder and garlic powder and put it in a pan and cook it until it is done.  If your not a meat person, leave it out.  I personally  would love to take meat out of my diet but with my food allergies, it has to stay in.  Throw in some green peppers , and chopped up mushrooms and let it cook  for a few minutes more  and "BAM"  its done.  Make plenty of different sauteed veggies so that you can mix it up a little bit.  One day use shrimp instead of chicken.  Use a red pepper instead of a green one or use both.  Don't like mushrooms???  Well if you knew what they did.....you just may change your mind.  You could even take some of those almonds or sunflower seeds and throw them on top for a little extra crunch!! 

The thing is, if you take one day a week and do the preparation for all of these meals you can throw them together in no time. I bet you are just dying to know what all of these foods do for you.  Why are you eating them??  Or, I guess, why am "I " eating them.  Stay tuned, I will let you in on that secret tomorrow.  There are some very neat things to know about shrimp and even mushrooms.

On a personal note, I would like to tell you why this is something that I have developed a passion for.  Not just because my health took a nose dive and I realized my family and I deserved better, but, remember how I said that we are to be examples for our kids??  Well I have one, maybe two kids now that need to be on a low fat no fat diet.  They have a disorder where their body doesn't break down and store fat properly.  It won't effect them now, but as the years go by and that fat starts being stored around their hearts, livers, and kidneys......well....we are talking about something a little more serious.  If I don't teach them how to eat right now......and they developed poor eating habits......well.......... I would never forgive myself.  This is the best gift you can give yourself and your family.   Your doing a good thing...