To cry or not to cry

"Jesus wept"  The shortest verse in the bible that holds, to me, the biggest message.  My family has had a rough week.  A week that tried my faith, and trust.  A week where I was put through the test.  A week where I had to repeat from Mark 9:23 "Everything is possible for him who believes"


I noticed my bible studies were leading me to scriptures about "not worrying" and "no fear."  I was also lead to read about Daniel in the lions den and Shadrach, Meshach and Abendnego.  These men believed in God so much that they refused to disobey Him no matter what the cost.  When you are faced with a den full of hungry lions, you pretty much know how that is going to end.  Same as if you were thrown in a fiery furnace.  These men were basically told they couldn't worship or pray to their God anymore.  They must pray and worship the king.  Two different stories, same Divine outcome. God shut the mouths of the lions, and Shadrach, Meshach and Abendnego plus One were seen walking in the furnace.  In both stories, the outcome was the same.  Everyone was ordered to worship and pray to their God.  I wondered had that been me, would I be strong enough in my faith to say "what ever the outcome, I am going to praise and worship my God"

We about lost my dad this week. I live quite a distance from my parents and I have three kids one of which was sick, and so for me to drop what I was doing and head up there was out of the question.  So I stood by, helplessly and "just prayed"  My prayer was "don't take him yet, please don't take him yet" 

I didn't know how I was going to make it through this.  I was then drawn back to my "don't worry, don't fear" bible readings.  I realized that God gives me enough strength to make it though today. Matthew 6:34 says "therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own"  I realized God was saying, "trust me to get you through today, keep your mind and eyes on me and I will get you through today"  At first it seemed minute by minute then I slowly realized my prayer had to change.  I had to pray with faith.  I had to pray as if I had already received it. (Matthew 21:22)

So my prayer changed from "don't take him yet" to, "I give this to You, I trust You, and no matter what the outcome is I am going to Praise YOU and worship my God. I come before you expecting You to amaze me"  Then I began to cry.  Then I began to beg for forgiveness, I mean God must see my tears as a sign of weakness, and lack of faith.  I just gave this to Him and now I am crying as if I don't believe He can turn this thing around.  A very small voice said, "Take your time....even Jesus wept"

God amazed us all the next day when dad was taken off all machines and sent out of ICU and soon he will come home. God gave him another chance, and for that we are truly grateful. 

"Jesus wept"  The Son of God cried.  He cried at the grave of Lazarus not because He was weak. Not because he didn't have hope.  Not because he didn't believe, but because "...he loved him"