keep walking

It has been a week around here.  This week I met with my new doctor to take some time to care for myself.  Sometimes as mommies we forget that we need to keep our own health up.  We spend so much time worrying over our children we don't take the time to worry about ourselves.  But our kids need us.  And they need us to be in the best health that we can be in for them.  So as much as we hate it, we have to add a trip to our doctor in our schedule somewhere.

Well I have had several doctor appointments here recently that were just "routine" but turned out with the "unexpected" problems that doctors seem to find.  When they find them it seems to slap you across the face and you wonder "how did I miss those symptoms??"  That is where I have found myself lately.  On the floor wondering where did that diagnosis came from and why didn't I see that coming.

Then today we add our son to the rest of the kids who is showing signs of Primary Carnitine Deficiency.  This has really been hard for me to handle.  It doesn't seem fair sometimes.  And when you have found that most of your family falls into the category of 1 in 100,000.....well it can be a pretty lonely place to be.  Who do I turn to when no one understands?  Who do I run to when I need encouragement? Who do I see when I need advice when a new "symptom" pops up?

Throughout all of this, between my doctor appointments and the kids struggles, I hear God saying...."keep walking"  So I put one foot in front of another, and then I get results back on a test, and God says "keep walking"  so I take one more step.  Then one more child falls into a ratio...and God says "keep walking" I take one more step then I run into the wall of anxieties and God says "keep walking"  and then  I stop to cry  and God says, "keep walking"

See Jesus was mocked, laughed at, and made fun of....and God told Him to keep walking.  He was betrayed, judged and denied....and God said "keep walking"  He was hit, beat and handed his own cross....and still God said "keep walking"  Joshua went to fight the battle of Jerico, and was told to walk around the walls of Jerico seven times for seven days before his battle was won.  Moses wondered in the dessert and on year 39 God said "keep walking"

When our load gets too much to bare, and we don't think that anything that is handed to us is what we deserve, and the road gets too bumpy, and it doesn't make sense and it feels like we are walking in circles.....  sometimes the hardest thing to hear is "keep walking"  Today I wanted to throw my hands up and say "God I didn't sign up for this!!!!   I cannot carry this burden!!"  He then reminded me that I don't have to.  All I am called to do is hand it to Him and trust Him...I may be going thourgh a drought now but just like Elijah my "rain " is comming so for now I..........keep walking...........