How do you do it???
“She sets about her work
vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks”
Proverbs 31:17
Being a mom
is no easy task. We are nonstop, 24/7,
365 days a year. Then there is that
extra day they throw at us once every four years. We have no health benefits or support from
the government. We have no paid vacations
and actually no “vacations” at all when you factor in all of the work it takes
to plan a vacation with kids. Even
Mother’s Day is a lot of work. If they
truly wanted mothers to have a day all to themselves they would not celebrate
it on Sundays!!
I have four
children under nine. The past nine years of my life I have spent being
pregnant or nursing or potty training or at times, all three. I homeschool three out of four children
and Three out of four children all
involved in sports at the local park district.
My husband works many hours a day at the family business. So he depends on me to do most of this on my
own. In the spring I plow and plant the
garden and mow and trim the yard. When
the belt breaks on the mower I fix it.
When the oil needs changed in the car I change it. I have tools and I know how to use them. But when you become a mother you are handed a
different set of tools and you depend on someone else to show you how to use
them. God gives me the strength and
wisdom to complete these simple tasks around the house however there is a much
bigger task than the day to day house chores that my arms need to be strong
for.
My four
children have a “genetic medical issue”.
This all started nine years ago when my first born began to become very
sick and weak. I could not get anyone to
listen to me due to the fact that I had just become a mommy. So therefore my knowledge about my own baby
was not accepted. Visit after visit to
the doctor I was told that it was more than likely just a virus and to go home
and keep plenty of fluids in her. She
would later begin to have these “viruses” close to 3 times a month and each
time was getting worse. Her eyes were
sunk in. She had no energy and
complained about her arms and legs hurting all of the time. Shortly after we began to add to the family
we noticed each child was developing much of the same symptoms.
After tons
of testing and biopsies we found a deficiency that showed up in the blood
work. This deficiency affected their
muscles and energy level and it was fixed with a medication that they take
twice a day. Now in order to do this
blood work to find the deficiency, we had to get them to the hospital while
they were in the middle of one of these episodes, to get the blood drawn. The most dangerous part of these spells is
the rapid drop in blood sugar and the constant vomiting. I could not help them out of the “episode”
like I had been so use to doing, because their doctors needed to know what was
going on during the spells. Now one
thing that you must understand about me is, 1) I
don’t’ have a fighting bone in my body and B) I live in small town Kentucky
where no one is in a hurry. Everyone
knows everyone and they are always asking questions like,” how is your second
cousin twice removed doing with his new job as the Walmart greeter?” When this happens, you just have to wait in
line.
Now, I've
had to do these blood draw test three times, one for each child that was tested. The first two times were a nightmare. By the
time that the third time rolled around I was going to make sure this went as
smoothly as possible. So I took the test
orders into the hospital and had them check and make sure they had all of the
right colored tubes. I then asked that they place them in a bag with our name
on them. I told them that soon, I would
be bringing in this little girl, (pointing to Ava) and she would need help
right away. I would not be able to wait
for them to figure out the test order or look in a book to find what color
tubes to use or even to wait in line.
The day
came. My Ava woke up with blood sugar at
50. She began to vomit. Everyone got into the car and we were off. When we got to the hospital I blew past the
woman who was trying to direct me in the right direction and I rang the dumb
bell at the lab. When no one answered I
knocked on the door. That same woman
that I had talked to just two weeks earlier opened the door and said, “have a
seat please and wait in line” and then shut the door right in my face. You all, something came over me. I did not
turn into the “Hulk”. I turned into The
Hulks Mother!! What came out of my
mouth next shocked even me. I knocked
on that door again and that same woman opened it again and before she could get
out one word I said, “I will NOT wait in line, I told you I cannot wait! Now
you get someone who knows how to draw blood and you hand them the bag of
colored tubes with my name on it and you send them out here to help her…STAT!!” She closed the door. I looked down at the lifeless little girl in
my arms and I became even angrier. The
next woman who came out of that door said,
“You seem upset. Are you
upset? Why are you so nervous?” I said, “I
don’t really have time to explain this mess.
You have to get her blood drawn fast so that I can help her.
Please!” As she lead us to a bed in
the ER to lay Ava in she pulled me in the hall, away from my child and asked if
she needed to call security to calm me down.
I clinched my teeth together I looked her dead in the eye and said, “She
doesn't have time for your little games.
And I don’t have time to explain any of this to you. Now get your little kit and get her blood
drawn so that I can help her!!!” She
turned and slowly walked away. She came
back with her kit. Now because my
daughter was dehydrated it was hard for them to get blood. After several failed
attempts she told me they would only try one more time and that was it. Now, God had given me the fight to get us
that far and now I had to give the fight to God. I got on my knees next to my baby and I cried
with her. I began to pray, “Father guide
their hands. Please, you know how bad we
need these tests. Let them find a
vein.” I looked up with tear feel eyes
to see blood flowing. They took seven
tubes of blood from her and when they were done I began to give her juice and
whatever I had to help bring her blood sugar back up. When they took the blood back to the lab they
tested her glucose. It was 32. The women of the lab came back to
apologize. She said, “I am so sorry. I didn't know.” I said, “I’m her momma…..I did.” I forgave her and now that I had time I tried
to explain the “short version” of our journey thus far.
That is how
this all began with doors slamming in my face and people putting a label on me
that read, “She’s that mom”. The
hardest part of this was that most of those labels were put on by those who
were supposed to be closest to me. Backs
were turned toward me by some friends and even family. It has been a lonely journey full of bumps
and dead ends. I have waited looking at
all the doors that had been closed praying for God to please open just one.
When I look
back to when it all started nine years ago I see nothing but the strength of
God pulling us through. When we needed it most, He put us right in the middle
of some good people who said the most heartfelt prayers on our behalf. When others turned their backs He turned my
focus to the ones with their hands held open ready to help in any way they
could. I saw doors opened and doors
closed. I saw fight that I never
had. I saw strength that didn’t come
from me. I saw hands wrapped around me
when I just needed to cry. I saw God
waiting for me with open arms at all hours of the night. Whenever I began to listen to the lies around
me my God reminded me to keep fighting for the children He had entrusted to us.
If someone told me nine years ago that I would still be dealing with all of
this nine years later and it would be part of my mommy journey and it would be
something that all four of my kids would have, then I would probably been like Moses. I would be trying to come up with every
excuse in the book for God to find someone else.
When I talk
about this to people the first thing they say is, “how do you do it??” We have been told so many things we didn't want to hear along our journey. Such as,
“any virus that causes them to lose their appetite has the potential to be
fatal”. No mother ever wants to hear
that. But here is what I tell them. I have HOPE.
Hope that the God who created them and holds all the answers and knows
the number of hairs on their heads who stood at their beginning and who stands
at their end will soon reveal to us an answer. (Psalm 139:13-17) Hope that if the answer is not in His plan for
us that He will continue to give us the fight and wisdom we need to protect His
children. (Proverbs 3: 5-8) Hope that He will lead us through the right doors
to the right tests to figure this out, (Matthew 7:7). Hope that He will make their bodies strong
enough to endure the road ahead of them, (Philippians 4:13). Hope that he chose me and my husband to be
their parents so He is going to guide us through this every step of the way (
Psalm 46:1, Philippians 1:6). I have
hope that God did not bring us this far in our journey and burden my heart to
keep fighting to never reach the top of our mountain. “For nothing is
impossible with God” I have HOPE.
God did not
call you to motherhood so that He could hand you something very difficult and
watch you struggle. He chose you, because
you were perfect for what He was going to call you to do. He never promised it would be easy so first
you must understand that you need to lay it back at His feet. I am living proof that He does give you more
than you can handle. That is why you
need Him! He is your strength.
“Three times I pleaded with
the Lord to take it away from me. But he
said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in
weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so
that Christ’s power may rest on me. That
is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships,
in persecution, in difficulties. For
when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12: 8-10
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