Mom Jeans and Mini Vans

         I have had three kids.  I am not exactly runway material anymore.  I'm not sure I ever was.   One thing is for sure though,  I am NOT now!!  After I had a hundred pound weight gain with my first baby and then a c-section.  Then a week later had my appendix and gall bladder taken out. After that two more c-sections that brought two more 9 lb babies into this world  ..............  Well  I can't tell a lie it just isn't pretty.  I really wish someone would have sat me down and explained what stretch marks were before all of this happened.  I was beginning to think something was wrong with me.  I was looking up surgeons that could fix this mess for a reasonable price.  (this is still an option) .   For now, though, I cannot afford such things. 

     As much as I hate the "damage" that has been done.  I would not trade one of my babies to fix it.   So for now, there is nothing much that I can do.  I mean sure there are things out there that you can buy to "cover it up".     Like girdles and who could forget the "spanx"  they start sucking in fat at the thighs and then as you get them up to your stomach , well, you are just "tucking it in" at that point.  Any of these options will work, I guess,  if you are not needing to breathe for a long period of time.   However,  if you're like me , then  you could wear, support hose, spanx and a girdle and you still can't zip up  your pants...........well I guess our only option here is the "mom jeans"  Not any ordinary jeans.  No, "mom jeans" come all the way up under your armpits and have a 12" zipper in them.

 I love how they advertise these jeans.............................by tucking in the shirt they let you know just how "high" they really come up.  And what is up with the legs?????   The smaller they get, the bigger my hips look!!    Now they are "mom" Jeans right????    Well then, lets get a "mom" to advertise them!!!!  I mean clearly this woman has never had a baby!!!

There you go!!!  These women are clearly "moms", and just look how happy they are in their "mom jeans"  So now that you have purchased those "mom jeans" and you have your three kids (like I do) there is an unwritten law, and I'm not sure if you are aware of it or not, but you have to get a "mini van."   Yes that is right, you don't want one, your fighting it because who really looks cool in a mini van right??     Then you look at yourself in the mirror wearing those "mom jeans" , and you realize...............you know what.......who looks cool in "mom jeans" but I am clearly rocking those so lets go for it!! 

  

 So you go mini van shopping.  Now ladies if you are like me and you have 3 kids, mom jeans ,and a husband who loves the "drag racing world" well then your min van may look something like this........

or maybe even this..........

But lets face reality right.  Three kids, a mortgage, and now a car payment better go for something not so "drag racey"

Well this may not be enough room....... I mean it may be "cheaper" but lets go with a little luxury right???       I mean, you are clearly "pullng off"  the mom jeans and to be seen in this, would just not be good for your, "looking good as a mom" reputation you are trying to hold up here.  However, when you are dropping your kids off to high school cheer leading practice, in you mom jeans, and this mini van...........well that just opens a whole new door of opportunities doesn't it????  

See there comes a time when we, as parents, must swallow our pride in order to embarrass our kids!! ...................but stay focused now is not that time.  We are trying to up hold our image here.............stay with me..................

 There we go, dont' they look happy AND coo!!!???l...............and look at the luxury!!!  That is great,  See because in today's world the reality of "living in a van down by the river" is getting more and more real..     So if I'm going to live in a van down by the river, I choose this one with a table........so i can play scrabble, because Scrabble is an excellent game to play with a 6, 3, and 1 year old.....

So bottom line is being a momma will stretch you at every angle and leave you looking..................well like a mommy, so embrace it......Everyone has scars, either external or internal, but they are there.  So stand proud all sucked up into your mom jeans and looking cool in your mini van and remember, doesn't matter what you drive ........ how big or small ...........God can use us all ...........