Do You Work???

                                                         

Okay,  so  if you haven't guessed by now,  I am a "stay at home mom"  or as I like to call myself  a "domestic engineer"  On a number of occasions I have gotten asked the question "soooo ...............do you work????"   I have gotten asked this by car dealers, tax services, Dr's offices, random people walking down the street.  I even heard this question come out of the mouth of Meredith Vieira during a segment about working mothers vs. mothers.............i guess............who don't work............that made me so upset that i quit watching the Today show, and sent them a little letter telling Miss Meredith Vieira what I do in a day (besides sitting down and taking the time to write a letter telling people what i do in a day ).  I like to think that she felt so badly about the way that she asked the question that she couldn't handle it anymore and she stepped down from her job to move on.   Truth is I bet she never received the letter and even if she did, she could probably care less.

So lets start from the beginning.  Before I had children I did many things, i was a waitress, a landscaper, and a bank teller.  Well not all at once that would just be crazy right??????    Little did I know that God was getting me ready for something bigger.  When I was pregnant with my first born and I held that little/big 9lb 7oz butterball in my hands I knew that i had to stay home with her.  I just knew deep down that this is what I was suppose to do.  So it was a painful goodbye and a hard decision to make.  I loved everyone I worked with and absolutely loved the good laughs we shared through out the day.  But something happened when I held that child.  I knew that God needed me with her. Day and night, night and day 365 days a year and even on that extra day in February when it happens.  (what's that all about anyway???)    I cried for the first year.  I never felt so lonely in all of my life.  I talked to myself and even started answering myself and then found myself getting very defensive about "what I do" .  I am glad to tell you now that I am very confident about what I do.  I know that I am right were I need to be,  AND remember all of those jobs I did before I had a baby??? Well guess what, now I am doing them all for FREE and all at the same time.  I am the grounds keeper, the financial advisor, the doctor and the nurse.  I am the mom and sometimes the dad  I am the server, the chef, and the dishwasher.  I am the teacher, the parent and the superintendent.  I am the maid who, dusts, cleans, and washes your clothes.  I am the counselor, the therapist and  sometimes I run the nut house.  I am the warden of the Taylor house, I am the judge and the jury.  I do floors and windows.  I am on call 24/7,  I get no paid holidays, no sick days, and no vacations, and I am raising the future of America.   But most importantly, I hand out love all day long.  I'm sure there is much more that I do in a day but .................I am tired because as a mommy the one thing I don't do a lot of, is sleep.  So that is my job of being a "stay at home mom"  NOW I don't have the extra stress of holding a full time job on top of an already "full time job" which means now, on top of all of the above, these women have to get diaper bags packed and get kids up early in the morning to take their kiddos to a babysitters, or a day care and pay mego bucks for someone else to do the above description for part of the day, then come home and start their other full time job there. And the single moms..................well God bless you !!!!  I can't even begin to imagine your strength.    So here is the bottom line.  I am not complaining about what I get to do.  I am truely blessed and praise God each day that He alows me to do it.  But lets show a little respect here.  I mean maybe rephrase the question from "soooooo do you work???"  to "Hello there, you beautiful got it together mom  with your way cool mini van and clearly rocking those mom jeans with your well behaved children.  I am quite curious......are you employed outside of the home???"   There now see how that just rolls off the tounge????  So if you are a mom and you are employed outside of the home or you are a domestic engineer like myself, we are all "working moms" some of us just have an extra job to make ends meet, but in the end we are a nurturing beautiful creation who were given a very special gift from God.  He chose you, to be their mom because He knew that you were the best one for the job :)..................................... Did I mention that we are raising the future of America??????? Your Welcome America, your welcome.
                                                                               

Adjust the Attitude to Gratitude

                                                                 




Every post I start with an idea, and as I listen to my 5 year old scream as I put her down for a nap, I started to think of another challenge that we all have as mothers.......Planting the right seeds.......... I realize that I have my hands full with her sometimes.  She is a very caring person, she loves to do things for "OTHER" people.  I know I am not the only parent out there that has a child that has two different sides.  I mean when she goes to other peoples houses, she keeps her hands to herself. She sits quietly, and only speaks when it is her turn.  She is very helpful, she does the dishes for others and even folds their laundry when asked to. She will sweep their floors, dust their furniture, and even help out with their yard work if asked.  Then she comes home.............and she is teasing her brother, pestering her sister, throwing toys on the floor and walking away from them.  I guess she saves her best performance for us when I tell her it is "nap time"  OH MY GOODNESS!!!  she is kicking the walls hitting her bed screaming at the top of her lungs...."I DON'T WANT TO GO TO NAP TIME!!!!!!  I DON'T WANT TO GO TO NAP TIME!!!!!"   This will go on for about 5 min and then ............silence.............the girl who "wasn't tired" is now so out of it that the world around her doesn't exist anymore.  Then I take that silence to reflect and wonder and ...........well............. mostly pray on a solution to this "attitude" that we deal with.  Many solutions come to mind, but not a lot are comforting......like "well she is a girl, and she is only going to get more moody, and you had just better accept it now"  or  "you think she is bad now just wait until she is 13 going on 30 or 18 and thinks she knows it all and does NOT need your advice"  These times scare me.  Then a verse is brought to mind.  Galatians 5:22,23  "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control"    Wow.......... I mean really think of all of those "fruits."  Are we as parents really "planting" the right seeds???  Where do you think my 5 year old got her temper from...........that's right her DADDY.......hahaha.........The bottom line is if we are going to raise children with such fruits, then it starts with us.  If you want to plant the seed of "self control" in your child well then you had better make sure that next time your child breaks something of yours you just simply say "well it's just stuff. Thank you for coming and telling me and being honest"  instead of............."WELL IF YOU WEREN'T THROWING THE BALL IN THE HOUSE LIKE I ASKED YOU NOT TO DO 6,754.56 TIMES THAN THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED WOULD IT!!!???"   Easier said than done I know.  And we live in a world where we are not the only ones planting seeds so don't be so hard on yourself.  The fact is that "weeds" are going to be planted.  Weeds of anger, hatred, tempers, jealousy, envy, gossip, slander............so much going on around us, in public, on T.V and even in  the music we listen too it is like a dandelion seed blowing in the wind.  It is hard to control all of these "weeds" from entering the lives of our children and even us.  So then now we have another job to do......Pulling the weeds.  Make sure to put a stop to the "weed like behavior" before it takes root.  I have my struggles with my children and most of all with my parenting.  We are not perfect parents and never will be.  We all are going to struggle from time to time, and even have to come to our child's teared up face and tell them that "WE" are sorry.  Mistakes will be made and we only wish that we could "wad them up and throw them away"  But we do have a perfect example and that is God.   So as I sit and enjoy the "before", my 1 year old girl running around with a book and laughing because when you are one everything is funny , and then look at the "after", my 5 year old girl kicking and screaming and disobeying  and her unwillingness to help around the house......i brace myself for what's to come, and pray that God gives me strength for when they all turn 18!!!! 

                                                                            

Mom Jeans and Mini Vans

         I have had three kids.  I am not exactly runway material anymore.  I'm not sure I ever was.   One thing is for sure though,  I am NOT now!!  After I had a hundred pound weight gain with my first baby and then a c-section.  Then a week later had my appendix and gall bladder taken out. After that two more c-sections that brought two more 9 lb babies into this world  ..............  Well  I can't tell a lie it just isn't pretty.  I really wish someone would have sat me down and explained what stretch marks were before all of this happened.  I was beginning to think something was wrong with me.  I was looking up surgeons that could fix this mess for a reasonable price.  (this is still an option) .   For now, though, I cannot afford such things. 

     As much as I hate the "damage" that has been done.  I would not trade one of my babies to fix it.   So for now, there is nothing much that I can do.  I mean sure there are things out there that you can buy to "cover it up".     Like girdles and who could forget the "spanx"  they start sucking in fat at the thighs and then as you get them up to your stomach , well, you are just "tucking it in" at that point.  Any of these options will work, I guess,  if you are not needing to breathe for a long period of time.   However,  if you're like me , then  you could wear, support hose, spanx and a girdle and you still can't zip up  your pants...........well I guess our only option here is the "mom jeans"  Not any ordinary jeans.  No, "mom jeans" come all the way up under your armpits and have a 12" zipper in them.

 I love how they advertise these jeans.............................by tucking in the shirt they let you know just how "high" they really come up.  And what is up with the legs?????   The smaller they get, the bigger my hips look!!    Now they are "mom" Jeans right????    Well then, lets get a "mom" to advertise them!!!!  I mean clearly this woman has never had a baby!!!

There you go!!!  These women are clearly "moms", and just look how happy they are in their "mom jeans"  So now that you have purchased those "mom jeans" and you have your three kids (like I do) there is an unwritten law, and I'm not sure if you are aware of it or not, but you have to get a "mini van."   Yes that is right, you don't want one, your fighting it because who really looks cool in a mini van right??     Then you look at yourself in the mirror wearing those "mom jeans" , and you realize...............you know what.......who looks cool in "mom jeans" but I am clearly rocking those so lets go for it!! 

  

 So you go mini van shopping.  Now ladies if you are like me and you have 3 kids, mom jeans ,and a husband who loves the "drag racing world" well then your min van may look something like this........

or maybe even this..........

But lets face reality right.  Three kids, a mortgage, and now a car payment better go for something not so "drag racey"

Well this may not be enough room....... I mean it may be "cheaper" but lets go with a little luxury right???       I mean, you are clearly "pullng off"  the mom jeans and to be seen in this, would just not be good for your, "looking good as a mom" reputation you are trying to hold up here.  However, when you are dropping your kids off to high school cheer leading practice, in you mom jeans, and this mini van...........well that just opens a whole new door of opportunities doesn't it????  

See there comes a time when we, as parents, must swallow our pride in order to embarrass our kids!! ...................but stay focused now is not that time.  We are trying to up hold our image here.............stay with me..................

 There we go, dont' they look happy AND coo!!!???l...............and look at the luxury!!!  That is great,  See because in today's world the reality of "living in a van down by the river" is getting more and more real..     So if I'm going to live in a van down by the river, I choose this one with a table........so i can play scrabble, because Scrabble is an excellent game to play with a 6, 3, and 1 year old.....

So bottom line is being a momma will stretch you at every angle and leave you looking..................well like a mommy, so embrace it......Everyone has scars, either external or internal, but they are there.  So stand proud all sucked up into your mom jeans and looking cool in your mini van and remember, doesn't matter what you drive ........ how big or small ...........God can use us all ...........

Same Parents............Different Kids

I am the mother of three beautiful children.  Well I find them to be beautiful because I carried them in my womb for 37 weeks as they grew and grew and GREW!! And I just knew that God would not give me ugly children after going through all of that "growing"  Don't even get me started on the labor.  Holy bologna!!!    I know God would hate for someone to go through all of that and then look at the baby and say "oh momma put it back,  it isn't done yet"  So yes all of my children are beautiful.  They all came from me and I guess my husband played a roll in it too.  (but that is another blog for another time).  So how did I end up with three totally different kids.   Isn't that strange how that works out?? 

                                           


When my first one rolled in three weeks early weighing in at a healthy 9 lbs 7 oz, and winning the prize of the biggest baby in the nursery at that time.   She was very predictable.  She slept for 4 hours she ate, then slept for 4 hours and ate.  Even her growth was predictable and still is.  Every year on her birthday she is a completely different size.  To this day I know when a tantrum will be thrown.  She is quite the drama queen.  The smallest things destroy her world.  But she loves to learn, she is very smart and God knew what He was doing when He made her the oldest because she sure does have this "I'm the boss" attitude down packed!!  All of her baby books are in order, her growth chart is kept up, her vaccines are recorded. Her scrap book from ultra sounds to first year are all done.  Then and extra bonus book of "pictures of the firsts" is done.  Complete with,  the first hair cut, first laugh, first smile, first tooth, first clap, first step, first black eye,  you know the "important" first you just don't want to forget.  Yup she was sooo predictable.  So why wouldn't I have another one right???  Because that was just too easy.  So after 37 weeks of "growing" here came 8lb 11 oz baby boy!!!  Well this wont be hard, he will eat and then sleep for 4 hours......then eat and sleep for.........okay so this one isn't going to sleep???...........well at least he's not crying........but why is he just staring at me????? what does he need?????   And with a boy I didn't know the rules........i am one of three girls...........can you hug a boy?.....I mean I need him to be tough right???  At what age do I start to tell him to "dry it up" or "take it like a man"  is he cute or handsome???    I'm not sure how this works.  Well he was our first boy and unlike my daughter, his growth was not predictable.  He came out wearing one size shirt and another size bottoms!!  To this day he is still like that.  His feet grow slower than anything I have ever seen.  He is the child that completely wears out shoes.  I have no idea what size he is in now, or what size he is about to go into.  I just know he is a "go with the flow" kind of kid.  Never complains just goes with it.    If  I put one of his sisters shirts on him by accident well it's all good.  Real men wear pink right.???  As far as pictures go........well I took several but they are all in a box and not organized what so ever and he didnt' get the special "bonus book" full of first...........:( The baby book is somewhat caught up. His growth is recorded, and there are some pictures in there.....Not so bad.  Just a little catching up to do.

  So we had a girl and we had a boy. We were set right????   Or where we???  After 37 weeks  of growth along came another 9 lb 0 oz baby girl.   So here we go she is the third one.  Okay I can do this.  Feed her then she will either be like her sister and sleep for four hours or she will be like her brother and look at me for four hours.........Oh no why is she crying????..................why wont she stop crying;............someone HELP ME HERE!!!!  THIS ONE WONT QUIT CRYING!!!!!..................  I didn't take it personally at first.........but after four months of the crying I thought,  "man she is sooooo disappointed in Gods choice of parents, I think she wants to go back"  Well come to find out this one is lactose intolerant and because i was a nursing momma that meant my dairy days were over for a while.  Little did i know, since I started to feel better after I got off of dairy , that I was also lactose intolerant.  Soon we had one happy baby + and one happy momma =  the house started to sleep again.    She just turned a year old so I am still trying to figure her out.  She seems to be happy where ever she is at .  Well as long as momma isn't too far away.  I took a picture or two of her.....and I purchased a baby book.......okay so i got alittle behind...........leave me alone I'm tired. 

So we have three totally different kids, same two parents and the only thing that was the same with all three of them is that they were all ready to enter the world by 37 weeks........  Just goes to show you that no matter how they came into the world, God has a different plan for everyone.  That is why no two people are ever exactly the same.  So instead of questioning why my kids are so different I am embracing it and trying to help find their gifts so that they can go out into this crazy world and make a difference..........I hope...............

So, here I am.  Let me just say I am new to the "blogging world" I guess you could call me a "blogging virgin".  I have read many blogs, and been invited to help out with one, so I didn't want to look totally stupid and have no understanding on how this all works. So alittle about me.  First I cannot spell so lets just get that out of the way and out in the open now.  However more important things about me is that I love my God with all of my heart and all of my soul. With every fiber of my being I long to do His will.  Sometimes though I think it would be easier if He would mail that "will" to me or if He had a facebook page where I could ask him questions like..."do I need to be concerned that my little boy doesn't want to play with trucks and would rather sit in a pink cradle and pretend he is a baby?"  He can't help it, he is surrounded by girls. Which brings me to my next job, I am a full time momma.  By "full time" I mean round the clock no holidays no sick time no weekends off, "on my own" momma of three beautiful children.  Sure there is a daddy in the picture, my wonderful husband of 8 years.  He works a lot though so I am on my own most of the time.  I have struggled with this but I know that he is doing what he has to do so that I can fulfill my next job.  I home school my kids.  By home school I mean we have the books. We have the worksheets. We have the humongo bookshelf that we built complete with a built in white board.  We have books and puppets, and all that fun stuff.  Why did we choose to home school? What other struggles do we face?  What and how can God use a simple woman with three kids?  Well these are all good questions that I hope to let you in on the answers as I go.   So, I guess I can say thanks for following, (or is that what they call it with blogs, or can you only "follow " on twitter?)  I am so out of the loop...........anyway thanks for taking the time to read and I hope and pray that we can connect on some level and what I have to say can encourage you and get you through your "mommy wars" :)